Unconscious Bias in Daily Life and Work

Unconscious bias can mean a lot of things. For me, it means being constantly reminded that I do not belong, reminded by people I know and strangers who feel entitled to try to fix me, solve me, explain the world to me or do whatever else they feel they have the right to do, often under the guise of kindness.

The other day, I took my granddaughter to the park. We were both dressed casually, like everyone else, spending an afternoon with children outdoors. Yet, as always, assumptions followed me.

People often assume I’m a childminder, not a grandparent. It’s subtle, but it’s there in the “kind” looks, in the tone, in the small talk or strange tacted language for someone who might not understand the language like speaking German slowly or single words and pointing at things like “ Lange in der Schweiz” meaning “ long in Switzerland and that seems to asking questions with and undertone message without saying it directly.

Then came one of these typical moments that I know so well. A woman approached and offered me a melting ice cream. She explained that her partner didn’t want it. When I politely declined, she looked embarrassed and confused. But the question lingered in my mind: would she have offered that to someone she considered “one of her own”?

A total stranger meant well, yet the gesture felt uncomfortable; What was the message behind it? 

You are not from here. You need help. I see you. I single you out. You can be helped. You should be helped. After all, what do you have as a foreigner? 

Just a few meters later, I bought an ice cream for my grandchild. The seller offered me another ice cream for free, this one was not melting, but twisted and unsellable. Another kind gesture on the surface, but again I wondered: why the assumption? Why the constant subtle messages? Should I walk around, wielding a sword or wear a t-shirt that tells everyone who I am? It would be a long one: this is my grandchild, I a not a childminder needing to be pitied, I can afford my own ice cream? What else? 

The message is loud and clear! “You do not belong. I see you. I know who you are. You are foreign. You are not like me. I can give you what’s leftover, what’s imperfect, what others do not want, because what choice do you have”? 

These are the quiet ways unconscious bias shows up in everyday life. These moments, while not openly hostile, carry meaning. They chip away at a sense of belonging. They send signals, unintended, perhaps, but no less real.

Does it also happen at work?

Yes, it does.

In meetings, in assumptions, in “helpful advice” that implies deficiency, in offers that are unequal, and in gestures that quietly sort us into categories.

Unconscious bias is not always loud. Sometimes, it comes with a smile.

And that’s what makes it so hard to call out and so important. 

That’s when organizations like mine step up to work with people experiencing this day in and day out, especially when unexpected. Or organisations that want to undress inequalities through specific training for their teams to promote safe places to work for all through enclosing and a sense of belonging for all. Because this has a direct impact on their money, constant resignation costs a lot of money, especially in the effort of hiring with an aim to retain the hard-to-get talents they all compete to keep. Because Diversity is smart, innovative and brings a competitive advantage in the marketplace, and customers want to see representation where they engage and spend their hard-earned cash